UG-hacks: How to score a perfect rolex in Kampala

Welcome to Kampala where rolex is eaten not worn. as they say

rolex t-shirt. its a movement.

rolex t-shirt. its a movement.

Well i would have gone to how to make a perfect rolex but we all know that people who devour rolex don’t cook. they are normally students and broke bazungu.which means the bazungu are eating it for all the wrong reasons. Brokenness. naaaa actually one can afford  a good meal at a good restaurant if he swapped his titanic (rolex of 4  fried eggs, 2 hot dog sausages, half sliced cabbage, 4 sliced tomatoes,  and minced meat) for money.

So let us leave the cooking for guys who eat while seated and see how one can get a good rolex in Kampala.

Well there are places where one can get a perfect rolex by just mentioning either ‘bibisi’ or ‘sibibisi'(someone please shout out ‘wandegeya!’). Yeah  the rolex world is divided between bibisi guys and the other guys. we have #TeamBirungoBibisi and the other guys. Though i did not do much investigation, i heard there is beef between these two teams. apparently one team claims the other team are not doing the real rolex.

Let’s start.

Locate a perfect stand: we like rolex but we don’t want to throw-up immediately after intake. because we are counting on this rolex lasting one a full day. Yep, that dough can stay in your stomach even for a week. so pick out that stall where the Rolex-guy is putting on an apron. there is no proof but they are normally clean.

bujagali representing there!

bujagali representing there!

Spot the ingredients: before you order a rolex. Inspect the joint and see if all the ‘birungo’ are present. Check for everything your like on your Rolex. tomatoes(check), onions(check), cabbage(check). if he doesn’t have everything, walk away. Too many stalls around the corner. No hard feelings for the guy because it is a joke a round town that all rolex guys know each other and they are from the same region of the country. Move on, your money will end up in the same place anyway.

Trick the Rolex guy: If he doesn’t ask if you want ‘bibisi’ or not ‘bibisi’ hold your silence. Then after he has mixed up everything, tell him out of feigned frustration ‘mbadde njagala bibisi’ right there those will be extra servings. best of both world.

note that if you cant say all the luganda words in quotes, you will never have a perfect rolex in Kampala. So with that rolex in, you won’t be hungry when the next UG-hacks comes, a week from now or 2.


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